Landon Donovan would have to play quaterback in the league. He chose eHarmony over match.com to find the right team, because he liked their commercials better. The algorithm calculated that he would be a perfect match to get the UCLA revolver offense firing (pun intended). I know what you’re thinking “they don’t even use their hands in soccer, so how’s his arm?” The man has intangibles that make Tim Tebow jealous. He’s a general on the field and makes all of his teammates better. Despite his receding hairline he’s a descent athlete, and he’ll need every bit of his athleticism with the porous UCLA offensive line. Just like his time on the LA Galaxy, Donovan will play well, but fail to make a post-season bowl game as he threw for 1,800 yards 10TD’s and 8INT’s , 750 yards rushing and 9TD’s.
Another guy that would make an instant impact is Wayne Rooney. Think miniature version of Toby Gerhart on the Furd. He’s quicker than he is fast, and he’s got the attitude to punish would-be tacklers. Coach Harbough keeps telling him to run out of bounds, but he didn’t get on the squad for his wits and continues to meet linebackers head on. The best part is watching the crazy English fans at Stanford games decked out in their soccer flags and scarves. The Stanford band loved their sense of fashion and made them honorary members. Rooney came in and had an amazing freshman year behind a strong passing offense led by Andrew Luck. He ripped of 1,100 yards rushing with 12 td’s that came in the form of four hat tricks games.