Andrew Luck’s Learning Disability

8 01 2011

After LeBron James came forward to criticize Andrew Luck’s decision, it was time for me to come to his defense. Here are the three scenarios to explain Andrew Luck passing on his opportunity to be the #1 pick in the 2011 NFL Draft.

The first scenario is that Andrew Luck is planning on working as an architect after he receives his degree from Stanford. After watching Inception at the IMAX theater in Palo Alto he fell in love with Leonardo’s performance and wants to draw his own cities for a living. Luck doesn’t know who Frank Lloyd Wright is, but that’s not stopping him from designing his own dreams. For his honors thesis Luck has a blueprint for a building on campus that’s shaped like the tree in the Stanford logo and his muse is the derelict mascot you see on their sidelines. Even though he’s excelled in his Urban and Regional Planning class, his best talents are what we’ve seen on the football field. Rating on our possibility scale – 6 out of 10

In the least likely scenario we have the possibility that Andrew Luck is enjoying the women at Stanford, I know, it’s hard to type without laughing but hear me out on this one. Once Andrew Luck gets into the NFL, the groupies that he encounters will already have been run through by dudes like Shawne Merriman, JaMarcus Russell, and Reggie Bush. Those guys have broken them in and to put it in football terms their vaginas can be compared to throwing a football down a hallway.

At Stanford most of their coeds are virgins that spent all of high school in the library or at the computer lab playing World of Warcraft. Luck totally digs these type of women and knows that it will be difficult to find them amongst the amazing talent that presents itself in NFL circles.  I came across this picture of Andrew Luck’s girlfriend to show you exactly the type of woman that he digs. Possibility 2.5 out of 10

The final scenario is the one that makes the most sense, which is Andrew Luck’s learning disability. He was a straight A student in kindergarten and excelled in napping, but by third grade he was thought of as a full-blown retard. He was especially terrible at math and still struggles today which is evidenced by his lack of understanding how much money he’ll miss out on in the NFL next year. Andrew has been insecure about his learning disability his whole life and he feels that a degree from Stanford would quell the memories of being teased growing up. His mother was kind enough to send us a picture of him in junior high school which only helps to confirm his learning disability.

Possibility 9 out of 10

To get the disgusting taste out of my mouth known as Stanford women, here’s a picture of the Leader of the Pac girl Rachel Lorraine in cardinal red.

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Pac-12 Football: Week 12 Predictions

18 11 2010

Week 11 delivered more exciting story lines with Cal players faking injuries like WWE superstars, Chip Kelly getting frustrated with sideline reporters, and Auburn’s Cam Newton still collecting cash payments to play at Auburn.

Cal’s marketing department had a brilliant strategy this past weekend. They convinced all the hippies in Berkeley that they were having a prop 19 rally at the stadium and when they showed up to the football game they spewed their venomous chants at the Oregon Ducks and almost guided their team to the upset. The infamous New York Jets reporter Ines Sainz is all-in on the Ducks this year and she loves the highlighter jerseys.

It’s safe to say that Arizona’s performance this year parallels the premature ejaculation that affects 25-40% of men in the United States. Getting revenge against Iowa, climbing to the top ten in the rankings, and now finding themselves on a 2 game skid in November leaves their gorgeous coeds as disappointed as they are in the bedroom.

Oregon State has been relegated to the doormat of the conference after getting thumped by Washington State this past weekend. The Cougs haven’t won a conference game since 2007 and there’s nothing more embarrassing than having the loss come on your home turf. Everybody should take home a cougar this week and show them some love.

On to the games

UCLA at Washington: This is a must win for both teams if they want to make it to a bowl game. If the faculty and fans  show up with the same energy that they’ve expressed about the parking and traffic situation on a busy Thursday in Seattle then the fans should be a factor in the game. Gore-Tex 27 – Flip Flops 20

Utah at San Diego State: Utah felt the wrath of Jesus at Notre Dame last week while San Diego State gave TCU all they could handle. Which Indian tribe will go Apacalypto on the other? Utes 28 – Aztecs 24

USC at Oregon State: Lots of double entendres when the Beavers and Trojans face off this weekend, but I’ll let your imaginations run wild with it. I’m guessing the Beavs were looking ahead to this weekend, but they love crapping on USC when they come to town. Beavers 27 – Trojans 24

Stanford at Cal: Cal fans took over Stanford’s stadium last year after upsetting them in Palo Alto, and look for them to rejoice again in Strawberry Canyon. Mike Mohamed and Mychal Kendricks will be all over Andrew Luck and the Bears come away victorious 24 – 20

2010 Prediction Record 61-19

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2010 Midseason All Pac-12 Team

18 10 2010

Time for our first annual Mid-Season team and you can already see some shakeups from our preseason team, most notably Jake Locker getting cut from the team. Locker’s numbers would probably look better if Jermaine Kearse didn’t lead the Pac in drops with 9, but you take the good with the bad and he’s been productive when he holds onto the ball. The tight ends in the conference haven’t been used as much as they have in the past, but Coby Feleener of Stanford has been consistent catching the ball and solid in run blocking.

1st Team

Offense

QB Andrew Luck Stanford
RB LaMichael James Oregon
RB Shane Vereen Cal
WR Juron Criner Arizona
WR Jermaine Kearse Washington
TE Coby Fleener Stanford
OL Bo Thran Oregon
OL Adam Grant Arizona
OL David DeCastro Stanford
OL Butch Lewis USC
OL Ryan Taylor UCLA

Perhaps the biggest surprise on the first team defense is the freshman Justin Washington making the team. He benefits from playing alongside two of the best defensive ends with Brooks Reed and Ricky Elmore, but he’s taken advantage of his opportunities. Mason Foster will lead the conference in tackles this year, because the Husky defense will struggle to get off the field, but Akeem Ayers plays a bigger role in the success of UCLA. Sophomore Cliff Harris of the Oregon Ducks leads the conference with 4 interceptions and has a couple punt returns for touchdown this year so he makes the list as a corner back and punt returner.

Defense

DL Brooks Reed Arizona
DL Jurrell Casey USC
DL Justin Washington Arizona
DL Kenny Rowe Oregon
OLB Mason Foster Washington
MLB Vontaze Burfict Arizona St
OLB Akeem Ayers UCLA
CB Cliff Harris Oregon
CB James Dockery Oregon St
S Rahim Moore UCLA
S TJ McDonald USC
PR Cliff Harris Oregon
KR Travis Cobb Arizona

For the 2nd team, Matt Barkley got the nod over Nick Foles. Barkley has been impressive in his last few games and absolutely torched a solid Cal defense yesterday. Leaving JacQuizz Rodgers off the list might surprise some people, but he just hasn’t produced like the team needs him to. Part of the problem is the offensive line and combined with an inconsistent passing game, opposing defenses can stack the box. Robert Woods makes the list over his teammate Ronald Johnson and he’s quickly becoming one of the top wide receivers of the conference.

2nd Team

Offense

QB Matt Barkley USC
RB Johnathan Franklin UCLA
FB Stanley Havili USC
WR Jeff Maehl Oregon
WR Robert Woods USC
TE Joe Halahuni Oregon St
OL Zane Taylor Utah
OL Carson York Oregon
OL Chase Beeler Stanford
OL Mitchell Schwartz Cal
OL Colin Baxter Arizona

2nd Team Defense

DL Ricky Elmore Arizona
DL Brandon Bair Oregon
DL Travis Long WSU
MLB Shane Skov Stanford
MLB Mychal Kendricks Cal
MLB Casey Matthews Oregon
OLB Sean Westgate UCLA
CB Omar Bolden Arizona St
CB Darian Hagan Cal
S Delano Howell Stanford
S Lance Mitchell Oregon St
PR Ronald Johnson USC
KR Kyle Middlebrooks ASU

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NASPAQ : Pac-12 Stock Report – Week 6

12 10 2010

At the midway point of the season we can now see that 9 teams will be competitive in the conference this season. Although Washington State is making great strides, they’re still a year away from winning a couple games in conference play.

Quarterbacks

According to Chinese Zodiac week six is the week of the quarterback and based on the performances this week that holds true. Ryan Katz (KATZ) had his coming out party by torching the Arizona defense with the long-ball and an accurate, strong-armed, intermediate passing game. The Beaver quarterback finished the day with 22 completions on 31 passes for 393 yards, two touchdowns and an interception. We thought that Katz would struggle after James Rodgers (JROD) went out with an injury, but he didn’t miss a beat. Every year Oregon State gets blown off the line of the race to the championship, but Mike Riley is a long-strider that picks up his pace in conference play.

The top three quarterbacks of the NASPAQ all had big days. Nick Foles (FOLE) threw 35 of 46 for 440 yards with 3 touchdowns, one interception. In Palo Alto Stanford’s Andrew Luck (Luck) (20-24, 285 yards, 3TD’s) and USC’s Matt Barkley (BARK) (28-45, 390 yards, 3TD’s) saw two of the worst secondaries in the country and capitalized on their opportunities. This game felt like the last team with the ball would win the game, and for the second straight week USC went down to a game winning field goal. If you’re a fan of big time passing games, then the other Bay Area game between UCLA and Cal would have put you to sleep. Kevin Riley (RILE) just hasn’t made the improvements he needed to this season and Kevin Prince (PRNC) has a lot under achieving potential at wide receiver.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Andrew Luck Stanford LUCK ↑ 25 16% $175.00
Nick Foles Arizona FOLE ↑ 20 14% $160.00
Matt Barkley USC BARK ↑ 20 15% $150.00
Jake Locker UW LOCK ↑ 10 10% $110.00
Jordan Wynn Utah WYNN ↑ 10 15% $75.00
Kevin Riley Cal RILE ↓5 7% $65.00
Darron Thomas Oregon DARR ↑ 10 18% $65.00
Tyler Hansen Col HANS ↑ 5 11% $50.00
Ryan Katz UCLA PRNC ↑ 25 100% $50.00
Jeff Tuel WSU TUEL ↑ 5 14% $40.00
Steven Threet ASU THRE ↑ 15 300% $20.00
Kevin Prince OSU KATZ ↓10 40% $15.00

Running Backs

With all the great performances we saw at quarterback this week one would expect the running back numbers to drop, but the top three guys keep on going over the 100 yard mark. It should be noted that no roster has both a top three quarterback and running back on their roster. LaMichael James (LMJ) continues to set the pace each week and playing Washington State was another opportunity for him to climb on the Heisman ballots. James had 142 yards and 2 TD’s on 25 carries and added an 84 yard touchdown reception on a wheel roue where he blew right by the defending linebacker. Shane Vereen (VERE) had almost identical rushing numbers with 25 rushes for 151 yards and 2 TD’s against the Bruins. A surprisingly poor performance came from USC’s tandem of Allen Bradford (BRAD) and Marc Tyler (MARC). The duo combined for 16 carries and 44 yards. Kiffin has always favored the passing game, but their offensive line is stacked with five star offensive lineman and they’re not running the ball with consistent success.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
JacQuizz Rodgers OSU JQR ↑ 5 4% $130.00
LaMichael James Oregon LMJ ↑ 10 6% $160.00
Shane Vereen Cal VERE ↑ 10 10% $105.00
Chris Polk UW POLK ↑ 5 5% $90.00
Johnathan Franklin UCLA FRNK ↓10 20% $40.00
Allen Bradford USC BRAD ↓5 11% $40.00
Stepfan Taylor Stanford STEP ↑ 5 20% $30.00
Deantre Lewis ASU DEAN ↓10 28% $25.00
Kenjon Barner Oregon BARN ↓10 40% $15.00
Nic Grigsby Arizona GRIG ↓5 40% $15.00
Marc Tyler USC MARC ↓10 40% $15.00
Derrick Coleman UCLA COLE ↓10 40% $15.00
Cameron Marshall ASU MRSH ↓10 50% $10.00

Wide Receivers

For the second straight week the highest wide receiver stock has moved around on the NASPAQ. Juron Criner (CRIN) took back his number one position with a 12 catch 179 yard, 1 TD performance and former #1 – Jermaine Kearse (JERM), has been battling drop like symptoms the past few weeks. True freshman Robert Woods (WOOD) had the best game of the year for Pac-12 receivers with his 12 reception 224 yard, 3 touchdown performance. Perhaps even more impressive than his numbers is that the majority of the youngster’s yards came against Stanford’s senior corner back- Richard Sherman. The Ducks Jeff Maehl (MAEL) also had a big game with ten receptions for 119 yards and a TD.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Juron Criner Arizona CRIN ↑ 15 21% $85.00
Ronald Johnson USC ROJO ↑ 5 7% $70.00
James Rodgers OSU JROD ↑ 5 7% $70.00
Jeff Maehl Oregon MAEL ↑ 15 27% $70.00
Jermaine Kearse UW JERM ↓10 13% $65.00
Robert Woods USC WOOD ↑ 30 100% $60.00
Marvin Jones Cal MARV ↑ 10 22% $55.00
Doug Baldwin Stanford BALD ↑ 20 80% $45.00
Devin Aguilar UW AGUI $25.00
D. Christopher Utah DEVO ↑ 10 66% $25.00
Jared Karstetter WSU KARS ↑ 5 25% $25.00
Keenan Allen Cal KEEN ↑ 5 33% $20.00
David Ausberry USC BERY ↓10 50% $10.00

Defensive Players Market

Our top defensive player, Akeem Ayers (AYER) finally saw his stock take a hit  with only three tackles in the loss at Cal, but the other two UCLA linebackers (Westgate & Larimore) combined for 21 tackles. The biggest defensive star in the game just happened to be on Cal’s roster as Darian Hagan (HAGN) had five tackles, two sacks, and an interception to be the conference’s defensive player of the week.  Delano Howell (HOWL) at Stanford was jarring the ball out of receivers hands and forced a fumble. While the USC defense looked terrible, at least their cheerleaders destroyed the Stanford cheerleaders. If Stanford has another game on TV this year I think their coeds might crack my television set.

Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Akeem Ayers UCLA AYER ↓5 4% $120
Rahim Moore UCLA MOOR ↑ 5 5% $105
Mason Foster UW FOST ↑ 10 10% $105
Jurrell Casey USC CASE ↑ 5 5% $100
Omar Bolden Arizona St BOLD ↑ 5 11% $100
Vontaze Burfict Arizona St BURF ↓5 5% $95
Casey Matthews Oregon MATT ↑ 10 11% $95
Kenny Rowe Oregon ROWE ↑ 5 $90
Stephen Paea Oregon St PAEA ↓5 5% $85
Mike Mohamed Cal MIKE ↑ 5 6% $85
Brooks Reed Arizona REED ↑ 5 6% $85
Mychal Kendricks Cal MYCH ↑ 5 6% $80
Delano Howell Stanford HOWL ↑ 15 23% $80
Trevin Wade Arizona WADE ↓5 6% $75
Tony Dye UCLA DYE ↑ 5 7% $75
Spencer Paysinger Oregon PAYS ↑ 5 7% $75
James Dockery Oregon St DOCK ↑ 5 7% $70
Darian Hagan Cal HAGN ↑ 20 40% $70
Cliff Harris Oregon CLIF ↑ 10 18% $65
Malcolm Smith USC SMIT ↓5 9% $50
Shane Skov Stanford SKOV ↑ 10 25% $50
TJ McDonald USC TJMC ↓5 10% $45
Owen Maracic Stanford OWEN ↑ 5 12% $45
Richard Sherman Stanford THOM ↓10 20% $40
DJ Holt Cal HOLT $25
Michael Thomas Stanford THOM ↑ 5 25% $25
Patrick Larimore UCLA LARI ↑ 5 25% $25

Defensive Units

You know how the saying goes when you face the pistol, “You shoot me once, shame on you, you shoot me twice…..” well the Bears weren’t fooled this time. After giving up nearly five hundred yards to Nevada they held UCLA to a paltry 144 total yards and only 26 yards on the ground. Mychal Kendricks was outstanding at linebacker for the Bears and he’s now tied for the most sacks in the conference with 4. In the USC vs Stanford game both teams looked like they were playing touch football in the secondary. The Trojans are athletic, but undisciplined and lack fundamentals in their tackling. As previously discussed about Stanford, they are slow and with the exception of Delano Howell, they’re poor tacklers. Arizona State had the best defensive performance going on the road and shutting down the Husky offense. Holding Jake Locker to just 14 points at home is impressive and Vontaze Burfict seems like he got the message of cutting back on his penalties, but that could be because he played less. And although she’s not in any UCLA apparel, we need more Rachel Lorraine.

Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Oregon Defense ORED ↓ 5 4% $120
Arizona Defense ARID ↓ 10 11% $75
Utah Defense UTAD ↑ 5 6% $85
ASU Defense ASUD ↑ 15 18% $95
Cal Defense CALD ↑ 20 30% $85
USC Defense USCD ↓ 5 8% $55
Stanford Defense STAD ↓ 5 8% $55
UCLA Defense UCLD ↓ 5 16% $50
OSU Defense OSUD ↑ 5 11% $50
Colorado Defense COLD ↓ 5 12% $35
UW Defense UWD ↓ 5 12% $35

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NASPAQ – Pac-12 Stock Report : Week 5

6 10 2010

I could have told you before the season that the top games in the country will be coming from the Pac-12 this year, but the entire nation got to see the national forecast on Saturday – Oregon Reign!

The Ducks have proven twice this year that sitting on a lead is a recipe for disaster against them. The Oregon Reign comes without warning, causes flash floods and can pour all game long. Andrew Luck had trouble seeing through the green haze and was struck by lightning trying to tackle Eddie Pleasant after he returned a fumble to the Stanford three yard line.

Even worse than the loss for Stanford is that Oregon exposed weaknesses throughout their team. Last year the Cardinal had a slow defense with a weak secondary and they did little to dispel those notions. Despite Stanford’s success in the red zone and Stepfan Taylor’s (STEP) 113 yards rushing, they didn’t have much success running the ball up the field. The key to beating the Ducks is a strong run defense and controlling the clock, and Stanford wasn’t able to do either. Despite all the points there were some great defensive performances during the game. Cliff Harris (CLIF) had two interceptions and his stock would have gone up even more if he didn’t fumble away a kickoff. Oregon’s defense continues to give up yards in bunches, but their defense matches the offense’s big play ability by forcing turnovers. James Dockery (DOCK) saw a 44% increase in his stock after getting two interceptions and the game clinching interception two out of the last three games.

Defensive Players Market

Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Akeem Ayers UCLA AYER ↑ 10 8% $125
Rahim Moore UCLA MOOR $100
Vontaze Burfict ASU BURF ↑ 5 5% $100
Mason Foster UW FOST ↑ 10 11% $95
Jurrell Casey USC CASE ↑ 5 5% $95
Omar Bolden ASU BOLD ↑ 5 5% $90
Stephen Paea OSU PAEA ↑ 10 12% $90
Casey Matthews Oregon MATT ↑ 5 6% $85
Mike Mohamed Cal MIKE $80
Trevin Wade Arizona WADE $80
Brooks Reed Arizona REED $80
Tony Dye UCLA DYE ↑ 5 7% $70
James Dockery OSU DOCK ↑ 20 44% $65
Malcolm Smith USC SMIT ↑ 5 10% $55
Cliff Harris Oregon CLIF ↑ 15 37% $55
Richard Sherman Stanford THOM ↓5 9% $50
TJ McDonald USC TJMC ↑ 5 11% $50
Owen Maracic Stanford OWEN ↑ 5 14% $40
Shane Skov Stanford SKOV ↑ 5 14% $40
DJ Holt Cal HOLT $25
Michael Thomas Stanford THOM $20
Patrick Larimore UCLA LARI ↓5 20% $20

Washington’s defense looked good coming off a bye week and forced Matt Barkley into some bad passes in critical situations down the stretch. With Arizona State coming to town they will have a chance to see their stock rise even more.

Defensive Unit Market

Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Oregon Defense ORED ↓ 5 3% $125
Arizona Defense ARID $85
Utah Defense UTAD $80
ASU Defense ASUD ↑ 5 8% $80
Cal Defense CALD $65
USC Defense USCD ↓ 10 14% $60
Stanford Defense STAD ↓ 10 14% $60
UCLA Defense UCLD ↓ 5 7% $60
OSU Defense OSUD ↑ 10 28% $45
Colorado Defense COLD ↑ 5 14% $40
UW Defense UWD ↑ 5 14% $40

Quarterback

The Stanford Cardinal finally ran out of Luck this weekend, but it wasn’t entirely the quarterback’s fault. His stock went up $5, because of his solid play in the first half, but Luck will need to prove that he can produce when the running game is not working. Jake Locker (LOCK) has finally played like the game breaker that he was touted as  in the off-season. Now that they have the road win off their backs they’re looking like a much more confident team. They have a tough game this weekend against Arizona State, but we’re bearish on (LOCK) for the next couple weeks.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Andrew Luck Stanford LUCK ↑ 5 3% $150.00
Nick Foles Arizona FOLE $140.00
Matt Barkley USC BARK ↑ 5 4% $130.00
Jake Locker UW LOCK ↑ 20 25% $100.00
Kevin Riley Cal RILE $70.00
Jordan Wynn Utah WYNN $65.00
Darron Thomas Oregon DARR ↑ 20 57% $55.00
Tyler Hansen Col HANS ↑ 5 12% $45.00
Ryan Katz UCLA PRNC ↑ 10 66% $25.00
Kevin Prince OSU KATZ $25.00
Steven Threet ASU THREE ↓5 33% $10

Wide Receiver

There was some movement at the top of the wide receiver list with Jermaine Kearse (JERM) overtaking Juron Criner in total value at $75. J-Kearse had six catches for 92 yards, but had a couple drops in the game.  His teammate Devin Aguilar (AGUI) hauled in 5 balls for 83 yards and a 46 yard touchdown pass.  Robert Woods (WOOD) didn’t record any catches but his 56 yard kickoff return prevented his stock from falling. Ronald Johnson (ROJO) continues to impress this season, but hasn’t been able to find the end zone at the same rate of his week one performance when he caught three touchdown passes.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Jermaine Kearse UW JERM ↑ 5 7% $75
Juron Criner Arizona CRIN $70
Ronald Johnson USC ROJO ↑ 5 8% $65
James Rodgers OSU JROD $55
Jeff Maehl Oregon MAEL ↑ 10 22% $55
Marvin Jones Cal MARV $45
Robert Woods USC WOOD $30
Doug Baldwin Stanford BALD $25
Devin Aguilar UW AGUI ↑ 10 66% $25
David Ausberry USC BERY ↑ 5 33% $20
Keenan Allen Cal KEEN $15
DeVonte Christopher Utah DEVO $15

Running Back

We had three performances this week with running backs going over 200 yards. LaMichael James (LMJ), Allen Bradford (BRAD), and Johnathan Franklin (FRNK) all eclipsed the number and scored touchdowns. Bradford saw the largest increase in stock by going up 80% in USC’s loss to Washington. If Lane Kiffin knew how to call a game he would have run Bradford more and taken him closer to the 300 yard mark.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
JacQuizz Rodgers OSU JQR ↑ 10 8% $125
LaMichael James Oregon LMJ ↑ 20 15% $150
Shane Vereen Cal VERE $95
Chris Polk UW POLK ↑ 10 13% $85
Kenjon Barner Oregon BARN ↓10 28% $25
Johnathan Franklin UCLA FRNK ↑ 20 66% $50
Nic Grigsby Arizona GRIG $25
Allen Bradford USC BRAD ↑ 20 80% $45
Cameron Marshall ASU MRSH $20
Marc Tyler USC MARC ↑ 5 25% $25
Deantre Lewis ASU DEAN ↑ 5 16% $35
Stepfan Taylor Stanford STEP ↑ 10 66% $25

IPO’s

One player that’s made a huge impact for his team in the past few weeks has been Derrick Coleman (COLE) of UCLA. He had 185 yards and three touchdowns against Washington State and 94 yards and a touchdown in the upset over #7 Texas. He’ll face a salty defense against Cal this weekend where the Bruins haven’t won since the 90’s. Two wide receivers have caught our attention lately, the 6’5″ Jared Karstetter (KARS) of Washington State, and Kerry Taylor (KERY) of Arizona State. Karstetter uses his size well and lit up UCLA’s talented secondary. Taylor has great body control and concentration to haul in tough grabs. His over the shoulder catch against Oregon was a thing of beauty.

Team Symbol Δ Δ% Total
Derrick Coleman UCLA COLE $25
Jared Karstetter WSU KARS $20
Kerry Taylor ASU KERY $15

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Pac-12 – Week 4 Predictions

24 09 2010

UCLA at #7Texas 12:30PM: UCLA had a gutsy win last week against #23 Houston and the Bruin secondary is designed to slow down a spread offense like Texas’, but look for Mack Brown to take advantage of his size up front by relying on the ground game. Longhorns 34 – Bruins 17

#20 USC at Washington State 12:00PM: Lane Kiffin is addicted to two point conversions, the Trojans haven’t played a complete game, and they have dropped in the rankings after all three of their victories. This should be the game where they put it all together and finally cover the spread for the first time this season. Trojans 42 – Cougars 20

#16 Stanford at Notre Dame 12:30PM: As we know from The Big Lebowski “Nobody F#cks with The Jesus!” Except maybe Jim Harbaugh and Andrew Luck of Stanford. Notre Dame’s defense will need extra prayer this week if they plan on slowing down the Cardinal offense. Trees 27 – Catholic Kids 23

#5 Oregon at Arizona State 7:30PM: ASU looked good against the big slow white guys from Wisconsin, but the Ducks have as much speed as any team in the country. The main advantage for Oregon is that they get to train with this guy. The side story for this game is the amazing talent at cheerleader that should be on display. Ducks 41 – Sun Devils 17

San Jose State at #13 Utah 7:30PM: The Utes haven’t missed a beat with the reemergence of Terrance Cain at quarterback. San Jose State doesn’t have the athletes to contain DeVonte Christopher and Jereme Brooks. A win here will bring them closer to the top ten. Utes 44 – Spartans 13

#24 Oregon State at #3 Boise State 5:00PM: This looked like a marquee game before the season started, but don’t expect it to be a close one. The Beavers might have a chance if Stephen Paea can disrupt Kellen Moore, but they haven’t been able to get to the quarterback much this year. Boise is balanced offensively and Chris Peterson should exploit the inexperience at linebacker by utilizing the tight end more. Broncos 38 – Beavers 21

Cal at #14 Arizona 7:00PM: The Bears are coming off a disappointing loss and the Wildcats just knocked off a top ten team last week. If Juron Criner doesn’t play look for Arizona to use a shorter passing game. If Cal plays to their potential and Arizona has an emotional letdown, this could be an upset. The Zona Zoo is wild at night and the Bears have struggled in Tuscon. Wildcats 31 – Bears 27 Here’s a great preview of Bears vs Housecats

2010 Prediction Record 28-4

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Pac-12 – Week 3 Players of the Week

21 09 2010

My prediction record took a beating this week with a 9-3 record overall, but the conference’s image received some crushing blows when Cal got pistol whipped by Nevada and Washington got corn-holed at home by Nebraska. Luckily I found this picture of a gorgeous prostitute from Nebraska who exchanges sexual acts for football tickets.

Players of the Week

Despite the embarrassment of Cal’s loss to Nevada, Shane Vereen was a bright spot for the Bears. The Junior running back hadn’t played much in the first two games with Cal having both games in hand by halftime, but Vereen had some moments that reminded fans of another Cal legend – Jahvid Best, with his jukes, broken tackles and great burst. He finished the night with 19 carries for 198 yards and three touchdowns.

Those numbers would normally be good enough to be the top running back of the week, but LaMichael James was a one-upper with his 227 yards on just 14 carries and two touchdowns. We still don’t know if Darron Thomas can throw the ball, but they might not need to if they keep putting up rushing numbers like they have been (564 yards rushing vs Portland State).

The Leader of the Pac MVP this week belongs to Andrew Luck of Stanford. He continues to improve his decision making and shows great touch on his long ball. He went 17 of 23 with 4 touchdowns and also added a 52 yard touchdown run that made Wake Forest look like a pee wee football team. Chris Owusu played in his first game this season and caught 3 passes for 65 yards and 2 TD’s. My only problem with Stanford this week is that their school colors are Cardinal and White, which makes the opposite of their school colors Blue and Black. They should burn the black jerseys, but coach Harbaugh thinks his team looks tough in them.

The Week 3 Juggy Award belongs to Nick Foles of the Arizona Wildcats for his up and down play. He was managing the game efficiently until he threw the ball to Broderick Binns for a pick-six play to tie the game up at 27 all. Foles wasn’t fazed by the error and went right over the top for a 38 yard gain on the next play to put Arizona in position for the go-ahead score. It looks like the Wildcats are finally getting over the hump and getting some national recognition with the #14 ranking in both polls.

Bust of the Week

As I’ve previously documented, I thought that Jake Locker was the third best quarterback in the Pac-12, but Mel Kiper had him pegged as the #1 QB on his draft board since the off-season. While I don’t claim to know as much as Mel, you don’t need a gallon of gel in your hair to see that Locker’s draft stock is falling faster than Mel Gibson’s popularity amongst women’s rights groups. His 4 of 20 for 71 yards and 2INT’s is one of the worst games of the decade and a lot of it was poor decision making by the QB. The Huskies now have to go 5-4 in Pac-10 play to make a bowl game and they have road trips at USC, Oregon, Cal, and Arizona. Locker is the only player to ever receive the Bust of the Week award twice in the same season and it’s only week 3…

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