Pac-12 Football: Week 11 Predictions

11 11 2010

Another great week of football on the West Coast with an underdog coming out on top, Oregon continuing to be the most fashionable team in the conference, and another dramatic finish for the Trojans.

What was supposed to be the best game of the weekend quickly turned into a snoozefest between Arizona and Stanford. Insider reports are claiming that Jim Harbaugh brought in some sheriffs to ask the Arizona players for their immigration papers. Many of the long-haired Wildcats couldn’t provide their documents which led to some lengthy cavity searches that left the players distraught.

The California Golden Bears actually got away from their cave known as Strawberry Canyon! They only get half-credit since it was Washington State.

The Huskies are playing like they were recently neutered, but they came out and fought hard. If they would have beat the 34 point spread it would have been as good as a victory.

USC Knows Drama – should be the new tagline for TNT this season.Lane Kiffin is quickly turning into our version of LSU’s Les Miles, except not as lucky. For the third time this season the Trojans were facing an opponent kicking the game winning field goal and for the first time, they missed.

No. 1 Oregon at California: Cal’s Brock Mansion has the perfect name for the porn industry, but the big man on the screen will Darron Thomas. Size matters, Ducks roll 41 – 20

Washington State at Oregon State : Oregon State has no room for error with the back end of their schedule including USC, Stanford, and Oregon. Beating Washington State is a must-win if the Beavers plan on heading to a bowl game. Beavers 33 – Cougars 17

USC at No. 18 Arizona: The Wilcats have played well against USC in recent years, but how will they fare after flopping in Palo Alto? If Ricky Elmore and Brooks Reed can pressure Matt Barkley, they should get the win. Pussy Cats 27 – Condoms 24

No. 6 Stanford at Arizona State: This matchup pairs the ugliest coeds in the conference against the licentious ladies of ASU. The Sun Devil defense has the speed and strength to slow down the Stanford offense, but they always find a way to lose the close game. Trees 27 – Demons 23

Utah at Notre Dame: Utah gets its second religious institution in a row, but who’s side will Jesus be on this one? The Utes get saved 30 – 24

Iowa State at Colorado: The Buffs fired their coach Dan Hawkins this week, but I don’t think they’re better for it. Iowa State will take advantage of their opportunity. Cyclones 27 – Buffs 20

2010 Prediction Record 58-16

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Pac-12 Football: Week 10 Predictions

4 11 2010

After picking three upsets last week and watching all three of them turn into blowouts we’re playing this week conservatively. Before we get to the picks it’s time to update our fans on the state of the Pac-12 Union.

In case you haven’t heard about the Oregon Ducks, there’s a pandemic amongst their fans this season. Apparently all of the high-fiving in Euguene after touchdowns has led to a substantial increase in carpel tunnel in the camouflage clad fans.

Some insider information out of Los Angeles is saying that the NCAA is looking into imposing more sanctions on USC for treating their match up with the Ducks as a fictitious bowl game. The reasoning being that the Trojans are banned from bowl games until 2012.

I spoke with Jeff Tedford’s psychiatrist this week and he’s recently been diagnosed as agoraphobic. This explains the awful road performances and their third blowout this year.

Texas continues to prove that they were not a good fit for the Pac-12. UCLA served them up a can of whoop ass in non-conference play, but even more embarrassing is the back-to-back home losses to Iowa State and Baylor.

Oregon State’s orange and black uniforms were the perfect Halloween costume…

On to the games

California at Washington State: The bipolar Bears will try to give this one away, but Washington State is playing to keep their conference losing streak alive. Bears 34 – Cougars 20

Washington at #1 Oregon: The Huskies are giving up 212 yards per game on the ground, expect the Ducks to triple it if they want to embarrass their uncompetitive rival. Ducks 63 – Huskies 6

Oregon State at UCLA: The Beavers have hit their midseason stride and will continue to run right over the helpless Bruins. Baeaves 30 – Baby Bears 20

Arizona State at USC: Let’s see if the salesman Lane Kiffin can get the troops to buy into another “this is our bowl game” motivational speech. The stands should have some amazing talent on display from the coeds. Trojans 28 – Sun Devils 23

Colorado at Kanas: Now that basketball season has started the Kansas fans will start disappearing from the football stadium. Cody Hawkins should have more success than his 17 of 44 performance last week. Buffs 27 – Jayhawks 21

#15 Arizona at #13 Stanford: In the game of the week the winner will move to number two in the conference power rankings. The Wildcats should be able to spread Stanford’s secondary out in space and make plays, but they’ve struggled in the red zone. Stanford will try to run the ball early and wear down the two defensive ends Brooks Reed and Ricky Elmore. Trees 37 – Cats 33

#3 TCU at #5 Utah: The game of the week nationally and the spot for ESPN’s College Gameday heads to watch two unbeatens square off. The Utes have played great defense this year and I’m expecting them to contain the Andy Dalton and the option offense. Utes 27 – Horny Frogs 24

2010 Prediction Record 54-13

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Pac-12 – Week 6 Predictions

7 10 2010

If you’re in the Bay Area this weekend you can get your ultimate fix of Pac-12 football by taking in the UCLA vs Cal game at 12:30, then head south to Palo Alto and watch the USC vs Stanford game at 5PM.

 

UCLA at Cal 12:30 PM: Is Cal going to let the baby bears feed off of the momentum they’ve gained the past three weeks? With Kevin Prince missing a couple of days of practice combined with the Bears having already played Nevada’s pistol offense earlier in the year, I’m giving them the major edge. UCLA hasn’t won in Berkeley since the 90’s. Papa Bear 31 – Baby Bear 23

#3 Oregon at Washington State 2:00 PM: The forecast predicts Oregon Reign starting at 2:03 PM on Saturday. The Ducks could probably hang a hundred on the Cougars if they wanted to, but expect the 2nd and 3rd strings to play about half of the game. Mighty Ducks 65 – Pussy Cats 10

Oregon State at Arizona 3:00PM: The Beavers are tough to get a read on with their inconsistent offense. Will they have the Road Ryan Katz who’s inaccurate or the home Ryan Katz that delivers? With two weeks to prepare for this game Mike Stoops should have his boys ready to play. Wildcats 34 – Wood Choppers 27

USC at #18 Stanford 5:00PM: Stanford went from contender to pretender in the second half of the Oregon game, but USC is in an even worse situation with poor coaching and inconsistent play from quarterback Matt Barkley. Jim Harbaugh loved nothing more than knocking the smugness off of Pete Carroll’s face, but he might have some pity for Lane Kiffin. I like the Trojans for the upset, because I still don’t like Stanford’s running game to control the clock like they did last year. Stanford also has one of the worst home field advantages in the conference and I’m expecting Trojan fans to outnumber the Cardinal. Condoms 30 – Bonzais 27

Arizona State at Washington 7:00 PM: We haven’t had the Vontaze Bufict over/under on the number of unnecessary penalties he’ll commit in the game since week 1, but if you missed his head butt last week of Ryan Katz last week we’re bringing it back for week 6 and it’s set at 1.5. Arizona State’s defense is fast, but we like Jake Locker to build on the momentum of last week’s game. Puppies 27 – Sun Angels 21

Colorado at Missouri 4:00 PM: The Buffs are coming off a big win, but Missouri is jealous that they’re coming over to the Pac-12 and they’re going to try to spoil the party for them. The Tigers will spread out the Buffaloes and I don’t expect them getting much pressure on Blaine Gabbort. Tigers 31 – Buffs 20

#10 Utah at Iowa State 4:00 PM: Jordan Wynn is rested after the bye week and looking to get in sync with his wide receivers. Iowa State is 84th in total defense this season so the Utes shouldn’t have trouble moving the ball. I tried to find a respectable picture of Iowa State fans or cheerleaders, but they don’t have any on the interwebs. Utah 33 – Cyclones 24

2010 Prediction Record 37-7

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