Pac-12 Football: Week 12 Predictions

18 11 2010

Week 11 delivered more exciting story lines with Cal players faking injuries like WWE superstars, Chip Kelly getting frustrated with sideline reporters, and Auburn’s Cam Newton still collecting cash payments to play at Auburn.

Cal’s marketing department had a brilliant strategy this past weekend. They convinced all the hippies in Berkeley that they were having a prop 19 rally at the stadium and when they showed up to the football game they spewed their venomous chants at the Oregon Ducks and almost guided their team to the upset. The infamous New York Jets reporter Ines Sainz is all-in on the Ducks this year and she loves the highlighter jerseys.

It’s safe to say that Arizona’s performance this year parallels the premature ejaculation that affects 25-40% of men in the United States. Getting revenge against Iowa, climbing to the top ten in the rankings, and now finding themselves on a 2 game skid in November leaves their gorgeous coeds as disappointed as they are in the bedroom.

Oregon State has been relegated to the doormat of the conference after getting thumped by Washington State this past weekend. The Cougs haven’t won a conference game since 2007 and there’s nothing more embarrassing than having the loss come on your home turf. Everybody should take home a cougar this week and show them some love.

On to the games

UCLA at Washington: This is a must win for both teams if they want to make it to a bowl game. If the faculty and fans  show up with the same energy that they’ve expressed about the parking and traffic situation on a busy Thursday in Seattle then the fans should be a factor in the game. Gore-Tex 27 – Flip Flops 20

Utah at San Diego State: Utah felt the wrath of Jesus at Notre Dame last week while San Diego State gave TCU all they could handle. Which Indian tribe will go Apacalypto on the other? Utes 28 – Aztecs 24

USC at Oregon State: Lots of double entendres when the Beavers and Trojans face off this weekend, but I’ll let your imaginations run wild with it. I’m guessing the Beavs were looking ahead to this weekend, but they love crapping on USC when they come to town. Beavers 27 – Trojans 24

Stanford at Cal: Cal fans took over Stanford’s stadium last year after upsetting them in Palo Alto, and look for them to rejoice again in Strawberry Canyon. Mike Mohamed and Mychal Kendricks will be all over Andrew Luck and the Bears come away victorious 24 – 20

2010 Prediction Record 61-19

[tweetmeme source=”Pac12Conference” only_single=false]





Pac-12 Football: Week 10 Predictions

4 11 2010

After picking three upsets last week and watching all three of them turn into blowouts we’re playing this week conservatively. Before we get to the picks it’s time to update our fans on the state of the Pac-12 Union.

In case you haven’t heard about the Oregon Ducks, there’s a pandemic amongst their fans this season. Apparently all of the high-fiving in Euguene after touchdowns has led to a substantial increase in carpel tunnel in the camouflage clad fans.

Some insider information out of Los Angeles is saying that the NCAA is looking into imposing more sanctions on USC for treating their match up with the Ducks as a fictitious bowl game. The reasoning being that the Trojans are banned from bowl games until 2012.

I spoke with Jeff Tedford’s psychiatrist this week and he’s recently been diagnosed as agoraphobic. This explains the awful road performances and their third blowout this year.

Texas continues to prove that they were not a good fit for the Pac-12. UCLA served them up a can of whoop ass in non-conference play, but even more embarrassing is the back-to-back home losses to Iowa State and Baylor.

Oregon State’s orange and black uniforms were the perfect Halloween costume…

On to the games

California at Washington State: The bipolar Bears will try to give this one away, but Washington State is playing to keep their conference losing streak alive. Bears 34 – Cougars 20

Washington at #1 Oregon: The Huskies are giving up 212 yards per game on the ground, expect the Ducks to triple it if they want to embarrass their uncompetitive rival. Ducks 63 – Huskies 6

Oregon State at UCLA: The Beavers have hit their midseason stride and will continue to run right over the helpless Bruins. Baeaves 30 – Baby Bears 20

Arizona State at USC: Let’s see if the salesman Lane Kiffin can get the troops to buy into another “this is our bowl game” motivational speech. The stands should have some amazing talent on display from the coeds. Trojans 28 – Sun Devils 23

Colorado at Kanas: Now that basketball season has started the Kansas fans will start disappearing from the football stadium. Cody Hawkins should have more success than his 17 of 44 performance last week. Buffs 27 – Jayhawks 21

#15 Arizona at #13 Stanford: In the game of the week the winner will move to number two in the conference power rankings. The Wildcats should be able to spread Stanford’s secondary out in space and make plays, but they’ve struggled in the red zone. Stanford will try to run the ball early and wear down the two defensive ends Brooks Reed and Ricky Elmore. Trees 37 – Cats 33

#3 TCU at #5 Utah: The game of the week nationally and the spot for ESPN’s College Gameday heads to watch two unbeatens square off. The Utes have played great defense this year and I’m expecting them to contain the Andy Dalton and the option offense. Utes 27 – Horny Frogs 24

2010 Prediction Record 54-13

[tweetmeme source=”Pac12Conference” only_single=false]





Pac-12 Week 3 Predictions

17 09 2010

The Pac-12 now boasts seven ranked teams in the two polls, but even more impressive is the fortitude to schedule four other ranked opponents (#8 Nebraska, #9 Iowa, #11 Wisconsin, #23 Houston) in addition to the playing the most difficult of all BCS conference schedules.

#25 Cal at Nevada: The Bears have the number one defense in the country and The Wolfpack have the number one offense. Colin Kaepernick hasn’t faced a front seven as good as the Bears in his entire career, but Cameron Jordan and Kendrick Payne will try to introduce themselves in the backfield. My guess is that the defense prevails. Bears 34 – Wolfpack 27

#18 USC at Minnesota: Lane Kiffin left the defense at home in his first game, he left the offense in Hawaii for game 2, could there be a special teams disaster on the horizon? Trojans 38 – Golden Gophers 20

#23 Houston at UCLA: The Bruins might be facing Houston without their Heisman candidate – Case Keenum, who suffered a concussion last week. If he’s unable to play the Bruins might get their first win behind a strong defensive performance. I’m guessing that Keenum plays. Cougars 24 – UCLA 19

Arizona State at #11 Wisconsin: The Sun Devils won’t have a chance if they can’t stop the 255lb running back known as John Clay. ASU is one of the most aggressive defensive teams in the conference, but they will need to minimize the penalties to keep the game within reach. Badgers 30 – Sun Devils 13

#8 Nebraska at Washington: The Cornhuskers freshman quarterback – Taylor Martinez, looks like a Jake Locker clone with the ability to make plays when they break down. The Husky defense will struggle to stop the running game, but if their offense gets rolling they will stay in the game. Dawgs 27 – Huskers 24

Wake Forest at #19 Stanford, 8:15: Stanford wants redemption after they lost a game in the final minutes at Wake Forest last year. Andrew Luck struggled against the talented UCLA secondary, but Wake Forest won’t be able to match the Pac-10 speed. Cardinal 34 – Demon Deacons 17

Portland State at #5 Oregon: The Oregon offense should keep on rolling and this game might be an opportunity to get a lot of reps out of Darron Thomas. Ducks 52 – Vikings 10

Louisville at #25 Oregon State: The Rodgers Brothers should put on a show against an inferior opponent, but this could be a statement game for new Louisville head coach Charlie Strong, former defensive coordinator of the Florida Gators. Oregon State wants to bounce back after their loss against TCU. Expect Ryan Katz to improve from his 9 of 25 performance in week one. Beavers 34 – Cardinals 14

#9 Iowa at #24Arizona: Arizona will attempt to spread out the Iowa defense and get their play makers in space. Iowa’s DE Adrian Clayborne leads arguably the best defensive line in the country and will likely shut down the Wildcat running game. I think Arizona plays with a chip on their shoulder and the secondary comes up with a big play late.  Wildcats 27 – Hawkeyes 23

#14 Utah at New Mexico: New Mexico is still recovering from the beat down that Oregon put on them, the Utes cruise in this one 37 – 14.

Hawaii at Colorado: The Buffaloes were cooked into bison burgers in Berkeley last week, but the benefits of the loss are learning where you can improve. Hawaii is not nearly as good on the road. Buffs 33 – Rainbows 24

2010 Prediction Record 20-1

[tweetmeme source=”Pac12Conference” only_single=false]





Pac-12 Week 1 Predictions

2 09 2010

USC at Hawaii: I’m expecting Hawaii to have some early success against the Trojans young secondary, but I think the mighty mighty horses will pull away in the second half. USC 38 – Big-Ass Hawaiin Dancers 17

Arizona at Toledo: Two spread offenses, one cup? Toledo needs to replace their QB from last year, Nick Foles gets hot after shaking off some rust early. Zona 41-27

UCLA at Kansas State: Bill Snyder is back to rebuild the Wildcats and I can’t get enough of these K-State fans. Daniel Thomas is going up against a rebuilt UCLA defense. K-State 24 – Baby Bears 20

Washington at BYU: Jake Locker has not won a road game since 2007, streak is over as the Huskies come out looking sharp offensively. The defense does just enough to get the win. Vegas has BYU as 3 point favorites. Dawgs 31 – Mormons 24

Washington State at Oklahoma State: The Cowboys and Cougars sounds like it would probably make a better reality television dating show than a football game. Cowboys 31 – Cougars 17

Portland State at Arizona State: The over/under for the number of unnecessary roughness penalties called on Vontaze Burfict is 1.5. Steven Threet is hoping that the third time is the charm after transferring from Georgia Tech to Michigan and finally bringing his talents to Tempe. Sun Devils 27 – Vikings 10

New Mexico at Oregon :I’m excited to see what Darron Thomas brings to the table in this game. Oregon goes for 250+ yards on the ground and superstar recruit Lache Seastrunk has a highlight on Sportscenter. New Mexico would have a better chance if they put their infamous soccer player – Elizabeth Lambert, suited up for them. Duckies 48 – Lobos 14

UC Davis at California: Is this FCS week in the Bay Area? Cal and Stanford both scheduled Sister Universities for their Saturday scrimmages, but if Cal comes out half-asleep they could get upset like Stanford did against the Aggies in 2005. Cameron Jordan gets two sacks while the more aggressive defense gets a touchdown. Bears 52 – Aggies 10

Sacramento State at Stanford: The Cardinal (worst nickname in all of sports) should roll in this one. The biggest challenge in this game will be Stanford offensive coordinator – David Shaw, determining whether they want more running or passing yards. The offensive line will plow the way for for the young guys while the passing game is pretty vanilla. Trees 52 – Bees 14

Oregon State vs. TCU: Every time I try to convince myself that Oregon State has a chance I look at my post-it that shows Oregon State has started 2-2 the the last seven seasons. Horny Frogs 31 – Beavers 27

Pittsburgh vs Utah: This is what I like to see out of our new member, big time games in the non-conference. Jordan Wynn will continue right where he left off in the Poinsettia Bowl with an efficient 275 passing yards while the Utes scrappy defense shuts down the Pitt running back Dion Lewis. Utes 28 – Panthers 24

Colorado vs Colorado State: Look for Rodney Stewart to have some success behind his veteran offensive line. Tyler Hansen has some talented wide receivers to throw to and a new weapon in the Mighigan transfer – Toney Clemens. Buffs 30 – Rams 17.

2010 Record 0-0

[tweetmeme source=”Pac12Conference” only_single=false]





Best Pac-10 Non-Conference Games

19 08 2010

Week 1  – September 4th

UCLA @ Kansas State

Kansas State is the first of three Midwest teams that UCLA faces this year and the weakest team before they begin Pac-10 play. Will Kevin Prince be healthy by the time the season starts or will junior college transfer Darius Bell take the pistol offense to desert eagle status? Can the UCLA defense contain Daniel Thomas without Brian Price and Reggie Carter?

Oregon St vs TCU

This should be one of the top non-conference games of the year, and TCU returns 16 starters from a team that posted a 12-1 record in 2009, but they’ll be without their two best defensive  players who were drafted into the NFL- Daryl Washington and Jerry Hughes. Oregon State’s two best players (JacQuizz & James Rodgers) hail from Texas, but they bring with them a contrarian version of  “everything is bigger in Texas” by packing huge punches in small packages.   Mike Riley needs to break his streak of slow starts and a victory against TCU in Cowboy Stadium would likely bump them into the top 15 rankings.

Washington @ BYU

Jake Heaps was the top prep quarterback last year and hailed from Sammamish, WA, but he spurned the local team for an opportunity have polygamist relationships while he’s in college. The Dawgs didn’t win a road game last year and Jake Locker needs a victory to keep his name among the Heisman candidates.


Week 2 – September 11th

Colorado @ Cal

Cal would like to welcome Colorado to the conference with some rookie hazing, and I think the loser’s coach should have his head shaved by the victor. Hawkins probably won’t agree to it, because Tedford is already balding, but maybe he could agree to a tattoo bet in its stead.

Oregon @ Tennessee

Kudos to the Volunteers for scheduling their third Pac-10 team in the last four years, but Oregon is bringing a high powered offense against a young Vols defense. Chip Kelly lost his big non-conference game last year against Boise State and the defensive coordinator for the Broncos was none other than the current Tennessee Volunteers DC Justin Wilcox.

Week 3 – September 18th

Houston @ UCLA

Case Keenum is likely a Heisman candidate and the Houston Cougars were the number one offense in the country last year averaging 42.2 points per game. They’ll be facing arguably the top secondary in the Pac-10 led by UCLA’s All-American Rahim Moore.

Iowa @ Arizona

Nick Foles took over midway through the Iowa game last year and nearly stole the game from the Hawkeyes. This year he’ll be playing from the start and will be looking for payback. Their girls look like they will fit in just fine in the desert.

ASU @ Wisconsin

Wisconsin is probably the most overrated team that starts off the season in the top 10, but they are tough at home because they make their opponents eat a half dozen bratwursts for breakfast the day of the game. John Clay ran for 1,517 yards and 18TD’s last year, but Vontaze Burfict is the most dangerous defensive player in the conference and will be chasing him all over the field. Wisconsin also boasts an efficient passing game with Scott Tolzien throwing for 2,705 yards and an impressive 64% completion percentage last year. His 11TD’s to 16INT’s ratio proves that he’s still vulnerable if you can apply some pressure on him.

Nebraska @ Washington

The Cornhuskers welcome back 16 starters and a couple defensive players that will be playing in the NFL next year, most notably Prince Amukamara who’s rated #3 on the ESPN draft board . Washington also sports one of their own on the draft board with the number one overall player in Jake Locker. Nebraska will start the season in the top 10, but at times last year their offense was about as exciting as watching paint dry so look for the Huskies to try to get into a shootout.

Week 4 – September 25th

UCLA @ Texas

The Texas Longhorns were scared of the competition they would face in the Pac-16 so they backed out at the last minute, but the Bruins are just the team make them regret that decision. Rick Neuheisel will be taking a page out of Rocky Balboa’s strategy by taking punches & points on the chin with hopes that it will wear Texas down. Side bets will be taken for which team wins the battle of the coeds? Longhorns bring more blondes, but UCLA has blondes, brunettes, and some of the hottest Asian women you’ll ever see.

Oregon State @ Boise State

This game should feature some of the worst jerseys in the NCAA and it will be played on the ugliest turf in the country. If Oregon State comes out of their non-conference undefeated, they’ll be in the top five in the country.

Stanford @ Notre Dame

Notre Dame’s only chance will be Touchdown Jesus strapping up his cleats and playing for the Fighting Irish secondary, because Andrew Luck is going to spank them harder than their catholic priests ever have.

[tweetmeme source=”Pac12Conference” only_single=false]





Pac-10 vs SEC Non-Conference Schedule

27 07 2010

As everyone on the west coast already knows, the paradox of the SEC being the top conference in the country should be questioned when you take a look at their non-conference schedules. Even without looking at the other conferences, I would be willing to bet that the SEC would be at the bottom when it comes to strength of schedule and comparing them to the Pac-12 is not even fair, but here’s the information in an excel chart.

*Rankings were determined from espn.com and nationalchamps.net

**Two different SEC opponents were ranked 25th in each poll, but unranked in the other.

Looking at the Pac-10 it looks like they typically follow a format to include one A game (BCS conference team), B game (mid-major), and C game (easy win). There are exceptions to this rule, but even the worst schedule in the Pac-10, which I would give to Arizona State for playing two FCS schools – has the Sun Devils traveling across the country to play a top ten team on the road.

In contrast, the SEC’s 48 non-conference games includes the Sisters of the South and a bunch of teams from Louisiana that they want to beat up on (Louisiana Lafayette – twice, Louisiana Monroe – three times, and Tulane). I’ve been able to deduce that either the Bayou is a recruiting hotbed, or the SEC is recruiting these teams to join the conference when they expand. How would fans react if the Miami Heat were playing 27 games a year against the D-league, or the Yankees playing 54 games a year against Triple-A teams?

Instead of playing four non-conference games, the SEC should borrow a page from the Pac-10 and do a full nine game conference schedule. The Leader of the Pac should reveal to the rest of the country what the standard is when it comes to schedules and the rest of the country is looking West to see where the standard is set. Even the two teams that are joining the conference next year are already playing strong schedules. I should also note here that the Utah Utes are the last team to beat the defending national champion Alabama Menstruating Periods also known as the Crimson Tide.

It’s not all negative when it comes to the SEC schedules with some good traditional rivalries outside of conference play in Florida-FSU, Georgia-Georgia Tech, and Clemson-South Carolina. The Tennessee Volunteers also deserved to be praised for their fortitude in regards to scheduling perennial powerhouses every season. They play against a top ten Oregon team this year, and have had UCLA, Cal, Miami, and Notre Dame on the schedule in the decade.

Top schedules in the Pac-10

Oregon State – @ #6 TCU, Louisville, @ #3 Boise State

UCLA – @ Kansas State, Houston, @ #4 Texas

Washington – @ BYU, Syracuse, #7 Nebraska

Top schedules in the SEC

LSU – #21 North Carolina, #25West Virginia, McNeese St, Louisiana Monroe

Tennessee – Tennessee Martin, #10 Oregon, UAB, @ Memphis

[tweetmeme source=”Pac12Conference” only_single=false]